1. Today the chorus has a five-hour coaching session and then a trivia fundraiser. I’m already exhausted thinking about it.
2. I hate it when I have 10 minutes’ worth of coffee to drink but only five minutes left to sit on my ass drinking it.
3. Tomorrow I’m going to the state fair! I am going to eat all the foods! Corn dogs and roasted corn and fudge and funnel cakes and barbecue and lemon shakeups! I am also going to look at cute farm animals and ride the Ferris wheel.
4. I sort of don’t know what is wrong with me right now. I haven’t felt depressed in quite some time but I have no motivation to do anything. I don’t know what to do about this, because I don’t know what’s causing it. Maybe I should stop taking Zoloft entirely. I already cut down to 25mg and I’m going to try just taking that every other day. I don’t know if I need no meds or different meds or if it’s not a med thing it all or what the fuck. But I’m so sick of not being able to get anything done.
5. I just noticed how prickly my armpit is. I guess I haven’t shaved in a few days.
6. My ex-husband has a Special Lady in his life and I am genuinely so excited for him. That feels really good.
I hope that someday for my birthday I get a tiny smiling smush-faced puppy wearing a birthday hat.
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I was just thinking about that time I bought a slipcover
And it was supposed to look like this:
But it ended up looking like this:
That happened five years ago and still cracks me right the fuck up.
Poem to an Unnameable Man
You have changed me already. I am a fireball
That is hurtling towards the sky to where you are
You can choose not to look up but I am a giant orange ball
That is throwing sparks upon your face
Oh look at them shake
Upon you like a great planet that has been murdered by change
O too this is so dramatic this shaking
Of my great planet that is bigger than you thought it would be
So you ran and hid
Under a large tree. She was graceful, I think
That tree although soon she will wither
Into ten black snakes upon your throat
And when she does I will be wandering as I always am
A graceful lady that is part museum
Of the voices of the universe everyone else forgets
I will hold your voice in a little box
And when you come upon me I won’t look back at you
You will feel a hand upon your heart while I place your voice back
Into the heart from where it came from
And I will not cry also
Although you will expect me to
I was wiser too than you had expected
For I knew all along you were mine